


Jennifer

by phlesh



Category: Jennifer's Body (2009)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-25 05:41:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30084342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phlesh/pseuds/phlesh
Summary: Something is wrong with Jennifer. Needy knows it, deep in her gut. Hell, even Jennifer knows it.The story we know and love, but a little bit different. Or a lot different.A character study and further exploration of the Jennifer/ Needy dynamic, plus, writing demonic possessions are just too fun.
Relationships: Jennifer Check/Anita "Needy" Lesnicki
Comments: 9
Kudos: 23





	1. Something's Wrong With Jennifer

  
  
There were often times where Needy thought there was nothing left to ruin, when it came to Jennifer. She’d watched her cozy up to any guy that hardly matched her on a numbered scale, she’d heard the dirty details, she’d choked down whatever hot little flame of jealousy it sparked. She’d made her peace with it. She even started seeing Chip- because that was usual, it made sense- once she realized he was an okay guy, and she didn’t hate his company. She’d grown even more fond of him over time.    
  
But Jennifer was always Jennifer.    
  
And Low Shoulder had ruined whatever was left; and, in hindsight, it was quite a bit.    
  
“Something is wrong with Jennifer,” She murmured, watching as the girl traipsed around in her flags uniform across the field. Nothing was amiss with the sight- not to the untrained eye. There was a churning in her gut that remained after every reaction with her best friend since the night of the fire, however.    
  
“You mean,” Chip, peeking up from his Biology homework with a dry, unsurprised look in his eyes. “Aside from her narcissism, mommy-issues,  _ daddy-issues _ , and eating disorder?”   
  
It was a miracle her eyes didn’t get lodged in the back of her skull with how hard she rolled them. Typical Chip. Clucking her tongue, she spun to face him completely. “No, I mean it, Chip,” He sighed heavily, the unspoken ‘ _ yeah, I do, too, _ ’ whistling out of him like gargoyle language. He set his pencil down to humour her with his full attention. “Also, she doesn’t have an eating disorder anymore- that’s not cool.”   
  
“Uh-huh,” The boy rested his head on his palm. “So what’s wrong with her, then?”   
  
“I don’t know,” For the last two weeks, she’d been replaying every scenario in her head. And then there was… that night, of course, where she’d showed up in Needy’s kitchen acting like a starved, feral animal and looking even worse. Covered in blood. Being super weird. She hadn’t told Chip about any of that- she didn’t want to freak him out, or add further strain to the relationship the two of them already appeared to have. “It’s just… Every time I’ve talked to her lately I feel, like…  _ sick _ ,”   
  
He furrowed his brows. “Sick..?”   
  
“Yeah,  _ sick _ ,” Her body had a very visceral reaction to her presence that was off-putting, to say the least. Not to mention the amount of times she was subtly out of character. “Like, I’m uneasy. You know when you’re waiting in line for the Rocket Coaster and you really don’t want to go on, because you just ate a giant plate of fair nachos, but your friends force you?”   
  
He thought about this sentiment for a moment; Needy could really see the cogs and gears of his brain turn as he processed. “I think…” He began slowly, locking his fingers together now. “That’s how most people feel around Jennifer.”   
  
“It’s not right,” She shook her head. “I’ve never felt like that before.”   
  
She’d tried asking about what happened that night, after the fire, but Jennifer always found a way to deflect. What had they done to her? What had they  _ made _ her do? All Needy knew was that when she looked into those eyes now, they were gone. Soulless. Like Jennifer was somewhere deep, deep inside.    
  
Chip scoffed. “Well, Needy, she was a pretty big chode to you that night at Melody Lane,” The hair on the back of her neck began to rise; it’s tingling sensation following every vertebrae of her spine. “Maybe you’re just starting to see her true colours-”   
  
“Jennifer is coming,” She announced, spinning on her spot again to observe. She was right. The purple uniform drew nearer.    
  
Chip craned her neck to see around her, sighing heavily, again, when he caught hold of the same sight. “So fucking weird,” Shrinking into himself, he picked up the previously discarded pencil and began to look busy.    
  
Wanting to maintain the illusion of normalcy, Needy waved. Jennifer waved in return, though she was still halfway across the field.    
  
“Are you going to talk to her?” He asked, his voice an octave lower as if Jennifer was already in earshot.    
  
“I’ve tried,” She mirrors this action. “It’s not really getting anywhere.”   
  
He grunted ambiguously, signalling the close of this conversation, for now.    
  


“Hey, Needy,” Jennifer cooed, and she jumped; how had she gotten here so quickly? “Hi, Chip.”   
  
Chip didn’t look up from his homework and mumbled a greeting in return, keeping his eyes low. They’d never gotten along. There was an inherent fact that Needy had continued to trapeze around; and it was that Jennifer didn’t like Chip, and Chip didn’t like Jennifer- but they both liked Needy enough to not let it get too animalistic. So Jennifer accepted the mumbled greeting because she truly didn’t care either way, it was just a pleasantry. “How’re you, Jen?”   
  
The girl seemed happy that she asked. Tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear, she smiled to herself. “I’m doing pretty awesome, yeah,” She popped her lips, that patented Check grin really starting to pull open her cheeks, showing off her pearly whites. “But, you know what would be even better?”   
  
It was contagious, that smile. “What?”   
  
“If you come over tonight and we can rent  _ Twilight- _ I heard it’s, like, so bad that it’s good.”   
  
Needy felt Chip’s eyes flash on her in a moment like two daggers. This was part of the problem; Jennifer seemed to have an exceedingly good time inviting her out to do something whenever she already had plans with Chip. Usually- Needy would say no, but she also knew that this time Jennifer had no idea she and Chip had made plans in the second period today.    
  
“That’s tempting,” And it really was; Jennifer hadn’t invited her to do anything since Melody Lane burned down. Maybe she needed this; maybe she had had her space to digest what had happened on her own, and she was finally ready to talk about it, and tonight was the night? Chip would understand that if she explained it to him, she was sure.    
  
“We already had plans tonight,” Chip piped in, looking between the two of them- in a little bit of disbelief when the gaze came to Needy. “We were going to bake s’mores cookies.”   
  
Jennifer’s face dropped. Hardened. “S’mores cookies?”   
  
“ _ Yeah _ ,” Needy drew out the word, unsure of how to navigate this between the two of them. She certainly couldn’t take Chip aside for a private conversation at the moment, but she knew if she declined Jennifer’s offer right now she wouldn’t offer it again. “Have you already rented it?”   
  
Jennifer moved the nail of her thumb between her teeth, nibbling at it. “No.”   
  
“Oh, well,” Needy cast a look over at her boyfriend, who was wearing that same quiet expression of exasperation; that he knew she was about to choose Jennifer over him. She hoped to convey her apologies through that gaze; to wordlessly tell him her reasoning later. “You know, I think the s’mores cookies can wait tonight,” The other girl’s face lit back up like a Christmas tree. “We- we just hung out on Monday,” Needy gestured between herself and Chip, who she knew was choking down a scoff as he attempted to look unfazed.    
  
“Okay,” The dark haired girl bounced back on her heels as she said the word, hardly able to contain her grin. “You two can pork it out another night-” Needy rolled her eyes. “-I’m stealing you tonight,”   
  
“ _ Lovely _ , Jennifer,” Chip closed the biology textbook. “You’re right-” Sliding it into his backpack, he rose and threw it over his shoulder in one swift motion. She felt her heart fall down into her stomach; she knew she couldn’t get out of this without hurting someone’s feelings. “-Needy and I can pork it out another night,”   
  
Needy clucked her tongue. “Chip-”   
  
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” He gave her one last, disappointed look before vacating the premises at a speed that Chip was far from known for. Needy sighed.   
  
As usual, however, Jennifer had something to say. “What crawled up his butt?”   
  
She shook her head, readjusting her glasses as they began to slide down the bridge of her nose. She would talk to him, Needy reminded herself; he would understand how important it was once she did. “He just,” She wasn’t so sure, though, how much about his insecurities she should tell her best friend. Dark blue eyes looked imploringly back at her, searching her with a quiet, but fiery curiosity. “He gets kind of upset because he feels like I ditch him for you all the time.”   
  
She can’t not tell Jennifer what’s on her mind when she looks at her like that. There’s a softness, a care that she knows swims under the surface- even if she usually did lack the vulnerability to empathize.    
  
Jennifer scoffed. “What? You guys hang out all the time,”   
  
“I know,” Needy said softly, turning to see his form just as it disappeared into the school. It was true. They did. He and Jennifer were the two people she saw most; even more than her mom.    
  
“He’ll get over it,” The girl shrugged, making herself more comfortable and climbing atop of the picnic table in a similar manner that Needy had placed herself. “He has to learn to share his Needy-time, because I was here first, and  _ I’ve _ made  _ my _ peace with it.”    
  
That was one of her favorite arguments.  _ ‘I was here first’. _ And it was true- Needy herself had to remind Chip of that once before, back when they’d first started dating and he felt that she spent too much time with Jennifer.    
  
They’d been biffs since Pre-K. That wasn’t just going to go away overnight. She had to admit that sometimes she wished it would; Jennifer had tested her patience and her human decency often enough, but she always knew who the girl was, deep down.    
  
Hearing the consistent argument again, she couldn’t help but smile. “He’ll learn.”   
  
Jennifer linked her arm through Needy’s, leaning in and inhaling the autumn air deeply. “Sharing is caring.” Needy fell into the touch, propping her body up against Jennifer’s the same. She was radiating heat; it was nice, it must have been from flags.    
  
They sat there for a bit, saying nothing, only enjoying each other’s company. She was very aware that she would have another opportunity to soak this in later, and that lifted Needy’s spirits enough for her to forget, for the time being, that Chip was upset with her.    
  
Jennifer would always be there.    
  
Sandbox love never dies.    
  
  


* * *

  
  
It was something to feel as if she was simultaneously missing from herself, while at the same time she was now a new, complete being.   
  
It felt better to accept this newness; Jennifer revelled in the confidence it brought to her, the primal intuition. It was as if she could sit in the backseat, and let someone else take the wheel for a while. Someone that knew what they were doing. Someone she knew that she ought to trust, because they weren’t going to steer her anywhere she couldn’t handle. They were going to take her to all the beautiful places.    
  
It ought to make sense.    
  
But she knew it didn’t.    
  
It didn’t make sense when she looked in the mirror; there was the same reflection looking back at her that she had always seen. Small, pointed nose- dark blue eyes- long, dark hair. She looked so much like her mother. But suddenly, she felt as if what she was looking at was not really her.    
  
Jennifer felt as if she was some kind of parasite- passenger- attached to her own body.    
  
She reached forward, and met the reflection of the tip of her finger in the mirror. This was her. This was always her. She was real, and she existed.    
  
She brought the hand back and ran her fingertips over the smooth skin of her cheek, watching herself carefully; waiting to see the slip-up of her reflection that would betray her. Betray everything, anything at all, in which she could maybe rationalize something.    
  
But nothing was awry.    
  
Her hands moved where she sent them. Her reflection did not smile at her, or miscalculate anything- even when she quickly snapped her wrist away from her face, and elaborately tapped it against her chest, the top of her head, her bottom lip.    
  
Nothing.    
  
It was her, and she existed.   
  
Her body, anyways.    
  
_ Stop doing that.  _ _  
_   
She blinked.    
  
There was that little voice, again. She felt inclined to agree with it, for some reason. She  _ should _ stop doing that. She was wasting time, playing in the mirror, trying to trick herself. What was the point?   
  
Needy should be over soon, anyways, and she didn’t want the girl walking in on her being a total freakshow. She’d ask too many questions.    
  
Sighing, Jennifer dropped her head into her hands for a moment.  _ Get out of your head. Do something normal.  _ What would she normally do? Look on Myspace? Watch television? Practice flags? Masturbate?   
  
Every option seemed so obnoxiously boring and meaningless that Jennifer found herself paralyzed in her chair, no matter how much she willed herself to just rise and do anything.    
  
With a groan, she pounded her fists against her skull a few times for good measure.    
  
_ Do something. Do something. Do something. Isn’t there something you like to do? Isn’t there anything? _ _  
_   
It was the frustration that pushed her to her feet before the willpower. She felt an impulse; red, and striking with violence, to flip her desk or throw her chair into the wall. When had she become such a hot-head? This wasn’t her, she didn’t think; this was the other part. The new part, that wanted to be in control right now. But now wasn’t really the time.    
  
Her eyes found the case for  _ Twilight _ ; she’d picked it up from the video store after school like she was meant to, and it felt like one of the most purposeful parts of her day. She just had to wait for Needy, now. Needy was a big purpose; she offered an air of familiarity right now that Jennifer craved. It felt  _ very _ important to her. She was really worried, actually, that Needy wasn’t going to blow off Chip and come hang out with her tonight. But she had.    
  
Good, faithful Needy.    
  
But where was she?   
  
If she changed her mind, Jennifer knew that Needy would call.    
  
Her blood itched to be moving, doing something other than standing in the middle of her bedroom observing the world around her like a lost spirit. Directionless, Jennifer wandered towards her bedroom door and pulled it open; engulfed in the sweet, barbecue scent of pulled pork. It would have been appetizing, in the not so distant past, but most food smelt foreign and unappealing to her now. But she had to put her mind to use, so she pushed through the initial repulsion and drifted into the kitchen.    
  
“Hi, mom,” Her voice dripped with the kind of honey that was expected of her mother’s only, golden daughter.    
  
Her mother cast her a glance from over her shoulder, where she had been chopping a carrot uniformly. She worked as a waitress, the hours were long and the pay was mediocre. She looked a little bit more tired than usual, but she smiled, nonetheless. “Hi, baby- how was school?”   
  
“School was good.” As the words left her tongue, Jennifer knew they sounded like cardboard; emotionless, empty. That had to change. She cleared her throat, tapping her nails against the counter with one hand and propping her head up on her hand with the other. “Needy is coming over tonight,”   
  
April Check cooed, her features brightening further. Her mom had always liked Needy; called her a good influence, which was true; it was Jennifer who’s sporadic, and impulsive ways were the bad influence, time and time again. She’d been the first person to get Needy drunk, the first person to get her high, the person who got her to go skinny dipping, and the person who dragged her to her first party- among other things. Jennifer liked to think that they balanced each other out that way. That’s why they were such a dynamic duo.    
  
“Oh, what are you girls going to get up to?”   
  
“I rented  _ Twilight _ on DVD after school today,” The thought of vampires, drinking blood, carnage. She salivated just thinking about it- to her own horror.   
  
Her mother hummed thoughtfully, turning her attention back to her carrot. “Yes, you kids seem to be all about that show, hey?” She shrugs, even though her mother couldn’t see her. The smell of cooking meat seared the inside of her nostrils, and was beginning to make her stomach turn. She wouldn’t be able to choke it down. Or, maybe. Usually she couldn’t, but sometimes it stayed; though it felt carbonated and septic in her stomach. She had to eat something, though.    
  
And she didn’t want that something to be what she knew she would be able to stomach.    
  
Jennifer got on her tiptoes to open the top cupboard over the fridge, and pulled down a sleeve of saltine crackers, setting it on the counter. The smell was making her nauseous. She needed some fresh air.    
  
She sidled up next to her mother and forced open the sticky latch of the window above the sink. April eyed her dubiously, but said nothing. Jennifer revelled in the cool air, sticking her whole head outside and inhaling deeply. It smelled like dew, and faintly like manure from the horse. It was going to rain, by the scent; she could almost sense the electricity in the air. “What’s the forecast?” She murmured, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply again. It was helping her nausea subside.    
  
“I don’t know,” Her mother sounded confused. It was unlike Jennifer to ask about the weather, and she knew this; she usually didn’t give much of a shit unless she had some kind of important social event to attend outdoors. Florals from the garden. Freshly turned earth. Vanilla and cherries, a pheromone that was unique. “When is Needy coming over?”   
  
Jennifer opened her eyes, sniffing the air again, gazing into the night. “She’s here.”   
  
On the other side of the house, someone knocked on the front door.  _ Needy _ .    
  
Relief washed over her like a warm shower. Quickly, she pulled back and shut the window, turning the latch, and snatched the sleeve of saltines up as she pranced towards the foyer. There was a two syllable mantra running through her mind that she half-resented, but was already too exhausted mentally to chastise herself for it.    
_ Needy, Needy, Needy.  _ _  
_   
In succession, she undid the latch, followed by the lock and yanked open the door; beaming as she stared her best friend in the face.    
  
Her smile was reserved and polite, as it always was. Needy could never fully comprehend that the invitation meant she was entirely welcome, when, in fact, she was.   
  
“Where’s it at, Monistat?” Jennifer crowed, stepping aside to make room for the other girl. She saw Needy’s eyes drop to the sleeve of crackers, a small crease forming between her brows. “Chipper stop PMS’ing?”   
  
The girl’s face fell. Inwardly, she kicked herself; she hated Chip. Jennifer knew it- she always had, from the second he showed up and became the object of Needy’s affection. She would never admit it to anyone other than herself, especially not to Needy; because she did care about hurting her feelings. Directly. She didn’t want to do it, nor did she find any sense of satisfaction in it, usually. But she was not opposed to picking on Chip- even though that indirectly, the pain still hurt Needy because she cared so much- which, in truth, only egged Jennifer on more.    
  
She also knew that Needy wasn’t stupid. She was very aware of Jennifer’s lack of regard to their relationship, and that it was not something that was newly founded. But, she was resilient. Jennifer had hoped that if Needy wouldn’t come to her senses and see that Chip was a total zero for herself, that eventually, with the help of Jennifer’s consistent and arguably relentless distaste for the boy, she would start to see where she was coming from.    
  
But, something that Jennifer loved about Needy was her loyalty. That she was unwaveringly good, and she saw the good in others, no matter what.    
  
The frustration that that quality didn’t  _ only _ apply to her was almost unmatched.    
  
“Jen,” There was a thread of a plea in Needy’s voice as she stepped inside, and Jennifer shut the door behind her.   
  
She rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine. But seriously- is he still pissed?”   
  
“He’ll live,” They wandered through the house- with the blonde haired girl calling a greeting to Jennifer’s mother as they crossed the kitchen. Once situated in Jennifer’s bedroom, she popped Twilight into the DVD player and laid flat on her stomach across the bed. Needy rifled through her backpack for a moment. “I bought Sour Patch Kids.”    
  
“Yum.” The idea of a Sour Patch Kid made her stomach hot again. She reached for the remote control that had previously been abandoned at the foot of the bed.    
  
“So, how’re you, Jen?” Jennifer’s finger froze over the  _ ‘main menu’  _ button. That didn’t take long. She turned to face Needy, quirking her head to the side like a confused spaniel. Feigning misunderstanding. The other girl shrugged, her fingers absently discovering a loose thread on her duvet and fidgeting with it. “It’s just been a while,”    
  
Had it? She knew it had been a little longer than usual, but her grasp on time seemed to have been something that had mostly been lost after the fire.    
  
Regardless, it wasn’t the argument she was expecting. Needy was speaking again, though, before Jennifer got ahold of any words to properly respond. “I was really glad you asked me to come hangout- I was getting worried.”   
  
Inside her chest, Jennifer’s heart dripped with warmth. Reaching out, she placed her hand against Needy’s knee- noting how the hand that had been twiddling with the loose thread came to a momentarily still when she did that. “You were worried about me?”   
  
There was a pink hue creeping into Needy’s cheeks. Behind her glasses, Jennifer could see her eyes flicker a few other places in the room, before she stole herself and matched her own gaze- they looked at each other, eye to eye. There was a smoldering seriousness within Needy’s eyes. She nodded, slowly. “I still am.”   
  
Jennifer couldn’t help but wonder what Needy was seeing within her own eyes, the moment before she broke into a grin, and giggle. “What’s there to worry about, Needs?”   
  
“I just-” Jennifer was a bit surprised that she hadn’t blinked up a tornado with the amount she did so in such a short moment, before she screwed her eyes shut. “Nothing. Nevermind. You’re fine.”   
  
Another laugh pushed its way from her chest- even  _ she _ was impressed with how natural it sounded. “Do I not look fine, Needs?” She gestured up and down the length of her body. “I look totally smokin’.” The other girl did not look convinced. Jennifer frowned. “I just missed you, that’s all.”   
  
Her scent. Her voice. Everything. She needed it more than anything; she needed Needy to be here, if she ever felt strong enough to vocalize what really happened that night with Low Shoulder. Jennifer knew how it sounded; but she would be able to prove it, too, and Needy was the only one who she could turn to about it. Her only hope.    
  
But she wasn’t ready for that.    
  
Not yet. 


	2. The Scent of Friendship

Jennifer promised that they would hang out more, right before they suffered through two hours of sparkling vampires and Kristen Stewart’s monotonous acting. Jen had gotten a particular kick out of the film, and her commentary was more entertaining for her than the movie itself.    
  
It felt good to be together again. Really good, like Needy had been holding her breath every second she was away from Jennifer and she could finally let it out again, laying there on that bed. Yet, even though Jennifer had assured her that she was fine, Needy still had the sense that she wasn’t. She wasn’t about to push, though. But she told herself that, at least, Jennifer was reaching out again. She’d read about PTSD online after what had happened at Melody Lane, for both herself and Jennifer.    
  
“Sour Patch Kid?” She asked, when about one-third through the film she had ripped open the candy bag and began indulging herself. Jennifer had paused for a moment, thoughtful.    
  
“Okay.”    
  
“What colour do you want?”   
  
The girl rolled onto her side, one eyebrow cocked as a challenge. “Whatever my favourite colour is,”   
  
Needy knew that, of course, without even a beat to think about it. She fished around until her thumb and forefinger clasped a blue little gummy, and offered it to Jennifer’s waiting, outstretched tongue. “Thank you.” She said, turning her attention back to the television.    
  
“You only want one?” Jennifer was always stingy with her candy- but leaving it to just one was excessively so, even for her. Needy had also definitely taken note that her snack of choice was saltine crackers.    
  
“Yeah.” Jennifer didn’t look back around as she answered. “For now. My stomach’s been totally rank today,”   
  
Needy kept her mouth shut, scratching at her chin as she observed the form of her best friend. She looked a little thinner, maybe. But it was hard to tell. Jennifer was always thin- before, and after her eating disorder.    
  
And then it clicked.    
  
She could be reverting back to that, after the trauma of what happened.    
  
Suddenly, Needy felt like a glutton, so she twisted the candy bag shut and returned it to her backpack. That could _totally_ be it. Should she tell Ms. Check? She had done that, years ago, once before when Jennifer’s empty-handed threats about severing their friendship if she told her mom became less troublesome than the obvious deterioration of the girl’s health.  
  
Even that night, as they laid together in Jennifer’s bed- engulfed in the darkness entirely- Needy couldn’t stop thinking about it. Everything still felt wrong; the girl’s breathing as she drifted off to sleep became uneven, and restless. Needy had thought at first that maybe she was having a nightmare, but the longer she lay there with her racing thoughts, her breathing never evened.    
  
Jennifer didn’t even smell the same, anymore. She smelt musky; unless Jen had just been putting off showering, she no longer carried the scent of spices, the smell that was _Jennifer_ for as long as she could remember.    
  
She didn’t even want to hold Jennifer as they slept, like they usually would. She rolled over, facing out to the dark window until her eyes stung, and they pulled closed, drifting off to a dreamless sleep.    
  
Something was wrong with Jennifer.    
  
She felt its truth in her bones. Maybe her hunch about the root of the problem was right, maybe it wasn’t- but Needy knew that she was right.   


* * *

  
When morning found her in Jennifer’s bedroom, the other girl wasn’t there. That was also odd. It was Needy who was the early riser; Jennifer would happily lounge in bed until eleven AM, if she could. She didn’t wake up early on school days, either, given that it didn’t really take much to make Jennifer look ready to impress.    
  
Groggy, Needy pushed herself to her feet, grabbed her glasses, and left the bedroom in search of the other girl. It didn’t take long; she sat on the couch in the living room, with the television on low, staring out of the window behind her.    
  
_‘My stomach’s been kind of rank today’,_ Jennifer’s voice echoed in her mind. Maybe she wasn’t feeling well.    
  
“Jen?”   
  
The girl turned to look back at her; she was twiddling with the BFF necklace fastened around her neck, but she smiled as she saw her. “Hey, Needs,”   
  
“What are you doing up so early?” It wasn’t even totally light out, yet. The world had that blue-grey hue of dawn.    
  
Jennifer shrugged. “Early bird gets the worm,”   
  
Needy could feel it there, again. Like a hard lump in the back of her throat; the words were begging to be asked- she wanted to scream them, actually. _‘Are you okay?’._ But she knew- that Jennifer’s patience with her persistence would soon wear thin if she didn’t drop it, at least for a little while. She had tried last night. She couldn’t guilt herself as if she never tried to get the other girl to talk about it.    
  
Jennifer always had to come around in her own time. The issue with vulnerability ran deep for the dark-haired girl.    
  
She thought back to the ninth grade, when Jennifer convinced Needy to join her and her male conquest at the time- who’s name Needy can’t really remember, though she could swear it began with an L- on a late night drive around the backroads of Devil’s Kettle. She quickly grew horrified as the beer cans the guy was drinking had piled up- three or four, and she had implored that they go home at that time, and L had gotten offended or frustrated as Jennifer began to cave to Needy’s requests. He’d ended up crashing; the car teetered over the low shoulder of the road and it had toppled sideways.    
  
Everyone was unharmed, mostly, as the guy wasn’t going all that fast. The seatbelt had constricted Jennifer to the point where it had fractured her collarbone due to the impact and the angle she was suspended. She refused to let anyone know, despite the pain she was in, she bottled it neatly into herself for longer than she could stand it. She didn’t tell anyone for six days, until she got hit in the chest during gym class in a game of dodgeball.    
  
If she wasn’t so vain, Jennifer was the kind of person who would cut off her nose to spite her face, rather than let anyone know she was vulnerable.    
  
“Needy,” The girl singsonged, and when she refocused her eyes, Jennifer was standing in front of her face. “Fuck, did you find my stash, or something? Come back to Earth,”   
  
Needy was still struggling to drag the tailends of her conscience back to the present. “Sorry,” She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, readjusting them. “I was just thinking.”   
  
“No shit,” Rolling her eyes, she vacated Needy’s immediate personal space. “What about?”   
  
“Doesn’t matter,” It was also better not to remind Jennifer of these kinds of moments; the ones where she had to be so defenseless, where everyone knew her cards. It usually made her defiant, and aggressive- like she had to compensate.    
  
The girl quirked one dark eyebrow dubiously, but dropped the subject as well. Instead, she chose to pat the seat next to her on the couch. “Come, sit down.”    
  
Needy did as was requested. Jennifer propped her feet up on the table, crossing them at the ankles as she began channel surfing. “What’s your plan today, Jen?” Though, what she really wanted to know was how long Jennifer expected her to linger; personally, she wanted nothing more than to process her thoughts with some alone time. Maybe get ahold of Chip and apologize to him.    
  
Though, her gravitational pull made that difficult to think about. Despite everything that was wrong, she was still Jennifer, and the years of togetherness accumulated between the two of them like an unavoidable mass.    
  
Blue eyes crept to glance at Needy from their corners. Needy could see the gears and cogs turning inside the girl’s skull, indicating that she didn’t really have an answer to that question, herself. The remote in her hand then bumps against her own, a silent offer that Needy could find something- nothing was piquing Jennifer’s interest. “I don’t know.” She finally said.    
  
The majority of Jennifer’s time alone was usually spent in a mirror, or parked in front of her computer on Myspace- maybe practicing for flags. Needy had a feeling that when she left, that was what was in the itinerary for the girl. Alone, with her thoughts.    
  
She frowned at the idea; something in her chest suddenly became very heavy. _Empathy_. When she thought about Jennifer’s existence- _really_ thought about it- she usually felt this. The girl could have anything, but she didn’t know what to do with herself.    
  
“Do you want to go for a walk?”   
  
Jennifer looked at her as if she had just suggested that they go throw rocks at bigger rocks for fun. “A _walk_ , Needs?”   
  
Maybe it was Needy’s turn to be spontaneous. She shrugged, sheepish with the idea, but she had faith in it. “Yeah, it could be fun,” Jennifer was utterly unconvinced. “We could go somewhere we don’t usually go- let’s go hike some of the backwoods today. Maybe we will find something cool.”   
  
At this, the dark haired girl turned back to the television screen. An enthusiastic  _ Slap-Chop!  _ Commercial was playing.  _ “It can chop anything!” _ _   
_   
“Okay,” She acquiesced with a lilt of her head. “Let’s do that, then.” Something in Needy’s stomach lifted when she did that-  _ agreed- _ and she felt her lips pull back into a smile. She had done it; she’d made a proposition that was somewhat out of her comfort zone, and Jennifer had agreed to it. It was such a little thing, but it felt like the beginning of a change, and she couldn’t explain why. Maybe it was just crumbs like this that made everything feel whole. “You smell good.”   
  
And-  _ what _ ?   
  
This statement struck her like a stop sign to the face. “I- what, Jen?” She wondered for a moment if she should make an appointment to get her hearing checked.   
  
“You smell good,” Even Jennifer sounds heedful of the words leaving her mouth. “Have I ever told you that?”   
  
Needy’s next wonder was about how much sleep the other girl had gotten last night. “No,” She blinked owlishly. “I can’t recall you ever complimenting how I smell,”   
  
The dark haired girl considered this for a moment, and then hummed ambiguously. “Well, you do,” She jumped to her feet, and without bothering to see if Needy was following her, she breezed out of the room. “So you can put that on your resume,”   
  


* * *

  
  
They’d steered clear of the side of town Melody Lane had once stood, and the Falls, of course. Jennifer made sure of that. A little bit of time in the wilderness, admittedly, did her well. It gave her something to focus on, for a little while.    
  
She’d even laughed, once; when the pant of Needy’s leg had gotten snagged on the limb of a branch and she’d nearly face planted into the dirt. Jennifer almost let her; but her reflexes were far too fast, and the human instinct far too intact to allow that to happen. She’d been grasping the back of the other girl’s sweater before she knew it, saving her from doom.    
  
Needy had been panting; reeling from the split seconds she had spent preparing to hit the earth before being rescued. She’d smelled particularly good, then; there was the slightest dash of fear mixed in with the usual, enticing scent of her. Jennifer hadn’t recognized it at first, but she was starting to. It was varying degrees of different on everyone; but recognizable, from anywhere, now. It was aromatic, floral, or spicy. On Needy, it smelt like cinnamon cookies.    
  
She’d slipped up earlier when she’d thoughtlessly told Needy that she’d smelled good. It was just that- she was starving. She was starving in the normal way, and then she knew that whatever parasite now shared her body was starving, also. It had spoken the words for her; delirious with hunger, and for every agonizing syllable that escaped her in that sentence she knew it screeched abnormalcy. It made her sound like she ought to be committed.    
  
But in that moment, smelling that fear, with her fingers tightened around the fabric of Needy’s sweater; it spoke again. But only to Jennifer.    
  
_ She smells so good.  _ _   
_   
It made her stomach growl. She watched, with a detached horror, as her fingers twitched in their hold.    
  
_ I wonder if she tastes that good, too? _ _   
_   
Her heartbeat was in even her fingertips.   
  
And then the second was over, and Needy had laughed.   
  
And Jennifer laughed, too.    
  
It  _ was _ funny. Needy had almost fallen. She was relieved when this humanistic reaction left her. Jennifer felt, in that moment, like she hadn’t gone anywhere at all; like the very serious consideration of ripping her best friend limb from limb and cannibalizing her hadn’t just crossed her mind. It was a blip- it wasn’t real, it never occurred.    
  
Or so she told herself.    
  
But the fresh air did her well. When they ultimately returned back to Jennifer’s house, and they parted ways; she stayed outside. Tried to practice for flags; but she was too hungry to concentrate and she kept dropping them at her feet, but she urged herself to continue trying. Watched the baton fall again.    
  
And again.    
  
And again.    
  
Until the late afternoon rolled around and her mother left for her shift at the diner; Jennifer bid her farewell from where she had been sitting on the porch for an indecipherable amount of time, watching the sun sink in the sky.    
  
_ Hungry _ .    
  
The word circled through her skull like a vulture. It pulled her into the kitchen; standing in front of the open fridge staring at the heaps of dead, old pork flesh sitting in a leftover container. It looked disgusting. But she knew she wanted meat. The apples, carrots, and perogies looked completely insipid.    
  
With a grunt that vocalized her disgust, Jennifer swung the fridge door shut and vacated the premises.    
  
The fresh air had helped earlier.    
  
At that moment, she didn’t care if she walked until her body gave out; she just had to leave. She retraced her steps, along the paths she’d taken that morning with Needy, and then she’d gone off-route on her own expedition when that got old.    
  
Her feet found their way to the highschool; the football field, she could see it through the trees. In the centre of said field, stood a Neanderthal of a boy.    
  
Alone.    
  
Mourning.    
  
And then, invisible hands shoved her into the backseat of her own body; it disobeyed her thoughts, propelled forward on its own. A reanimated corpse, and all Jennifer could do was watch her body move through a frosted glass window of consciousness, hovering in that space where the spirit and the bone met.    
  


Why was it a primary objective for her to get to him?   
  
_ Hungry _ .    
  
Panic settled somewhere in the back of her mind, buried six feet below with her.    
  
_ Turn around. Go home.  _ _   
_ _   
_ Her body continued onwards. Step after step, she neared Jonas Kozelle; her heart felt like a hummingbird in her chest. Nausea roiled in her stomach.    
  
Something bad was going to happen.    
  



End file.
